When Your Love Is Far Away
Guest post by Trisha Hurlburt
Long-distance relationships are hard. I know because I live in one. And while every day comes with its own challenges, holidays that celebrate closeness and romance tend to hit a little harder. Valentine’s Day especially has a way of shining a spotlight on the miles between you.
Still, loving someone far away does not mean giving up connection, intimacy, or celebration. If you are navigating love across time zones, here are the ways I have learned to cope, connect, and even enjoy the day.
First, a reality check
Long-distance love is not just tough on special occasions. Watching local couples hold hands, kiss goodbye, or casually plan dinner together can sting on any random Tuesday. So if Valentine’s Day feels heavier than usual, you are not being dramatic. You are human.
That said, you do not have to let distance define the experience.
Communicate early and clearly
Yes, this sounds obvious. It still matters more than anything else.
Valentine’s Day is one of those days where expectations can quietly grow without being spoken. One person may see it as a major romantic event. The other may see it as just another date on the calendar. That mismatch can hurt more than the distance itself.
This does not require a dramatic conversation or a list of demands. A simple heads-up that the day matters to you and that you would love to mark it in some small way can prevent disappointment on both sides. Being on the same page is everything.
Send a care package with intention
There is something deeply grounding about putting together a package for someone you miss.
It does not need to be elaborate. Think meaningful instead of expensive. A small scrapbook. A handwritten letter. A favorite snack. A shirt that smells like you. Sensual massage items for when you see each other again. Even a playful toy meant to be used together from afar.
The act of assembling it gives you something to focus on. The act of receiving it reminds your partner that they are held in your thoughts. It also tends to inspire reciprocity, which is never a bad thing.
Plan real time together
If you cannot be in the same place, be in the same moment.
Set aside time intentionally. A video call. A private chat. A shared movie night. Something that feels deliberate instead of squeezed in. If you plan it well, your partner can open their package while you are connected, which can turn a simple call into something far more intimate.
Technology has made this easier than ever. Beyond video chat, there are now Bluetooth-enabled toys designed specifically for long-distance couples. Some can be controlled remotely through secure apps, allowing one partner to guide the experience no matter how far apart you are. It is not a replacement for touch, but it can be a powerful bridge when touch is not possible.
Yes, masturbation counts as intimacy
If distance has taught me anything, it is that intimacy is not limited to being in the same room.
Solo pleasure is often a long-distance partner’s closest ally. It becomes even more meaningful when shared. Talking through what you are doing. Describing sensations. Letting your partner’s voice guide the moment. It can feel awkward at first. You will probably laugh. Then you will relax into it.
With modern toys, this experience can be shared in real time. Remote-controlled vibrators, strokers, and couples’ toys can sync through apps so one partner controls the rhythm, intensity, or pattern. Eyes closed, voice in your ear, sensations guided by someone you love. It is surprisingly intimate.
Celebrate later, on your own terms
If you have a visit planned soon, consider saving your Valentine’s celebration for when you are together.
There are perks to this approach. No crowded restaurants. No overpriced roses. No scrambling for reservations. Just the two of you, fully present, turning an ordinary visit into something intentional and romantic.
Some couples even make this their tradition. Valentine’s Day becomes flexible, personal, and far more memorable than a fixed date on the calendar.
A final thought
At the end of the day, it is still just twenty-four hours. A meaningful twenty-four hours, yes, but not the measure of your relationship. What matters is that somewhere across the miles, someone chooses you daily and is willing to put in the effort that distance demands.
That kind of love is not lacking. It is strong.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
